Insane Random Ramblings

My mom is busy asking me want I want for Christmas. The truth is I don’t really want anything. I don’t want clothes because I’m trying to lose weight and they either won’t fit now or won’t fit later. I’d rather wait until I get to my goal weight to shop. I don’t want jewelry or raymond weil watches because I always lose them.

She did buy me an ipod shuffle, but I already have one so she has to take it back. I do have my eye on a Coach bag but it’s over $200 and there’s no way she’s paying $200 for a purse. Hmmm, I should ask her to pay for my tuition in the spring. Now that would be a present.

I am addicted to these cheap frozen pizzas. I had a craving one week and bought 2 just to have a snack. That was over 2 months ago. I’ve been buying at least 1 per week since then. I ate 2 today because I was hungry. I was mad at myself because I wanted just a plain cheese pizza but I got a pepperoni and a combination.

It’s ridiculous how addicted to these things I am.

I’ve been watching the mail like a hawk for the past week. I’ve been expecting some money to come in and it isn’t here yet. I got excited one day because it looked like my box was full. All that was there was a buy-back schedule for books, a medical id card and a catalog. The catalog was interesting but I can’t shop because the money isn’t here. I knew I should have asked them to send it overnight instead of regular mail.

I’m not really hurting for the money. I’m just an impatient person and I hate waiting.

Ha. It’s not over. They’re still talking about me. My coworkers are apparently afraid to ask me questions. (I’m not a team leader so they shouldn’t be asking me questions). I also have everybody walking on eggshells around me. What a crock!

My new policy is this, don’t talk to me and I won’t talk to you. If they say good morning or whatever my answer is “Yup” o r “uh-huh”. Every other question will be answered with “fine”. I’m not kissing anybodys ass in this department. That way I won’t offend anyone or spread my negativity or whatever else they come up with.

Oh and the funny thing is they started talking about I have to be a better communicator if I want to be a team leader. (There’s a position posted right now). Not only did I not apply for the position, I never told them I was interested in the position. So I don’t know what makes them think I gave a damn about being a team leader.

I’ve been piled with work for the past month. When I say something, I get called to the conference room and told that I shouldn’t question what other employees are doing because that’s not my job. Basically, it’s my fault for catching on quickly because that means I can get more and more work. And I can’t question what my coworkers do (or don’t do in this case) because they’re “in training”. When I was in training I did twice as much as what they do now.

Oh and I’m negative and I’m causing a hostile work environment. Apparently my coworkers are afraid of me. They can’t ask me questions or heaven forbid say good morning because they don’t know what I may do. Good lord, now I’m the office bully. So if I talk, I’m being negative but if I don’t talk I’m causing hostility. Unbelievable.

I just need to leave this area. The sooner the better. Cause I have a feeling things are going to get worse before they get better.

Actually the PC term we use is WinterFest. Either way, I’m not participating in the event at all. I hate it here so much. My coworkers, supervisor, manager, just everyone is getting on my nerves. I’ve been sitting at my desk trying to be quiet for the last few days. It seems like the more I try to stay quiet, the more people want to talk to me. It’s pretty annoying.

My friend is avoiding me. I emailed him today and he hasn’t emailed me back yet. We usually talk all day long. I know why he’s avoiding me though. I have been pretty witchy towards him. There is a reason though. I’ll just say that there are outside influences on our friendship that’s making it hard to maintain.

Still though, he’s acting shady towards me and there’s no need for that. I mean really if you say you’re gonna do something, then do it! Don’t just leave me hanging and then the next time we talk you act like nothing happened.

Sigh, tomorrow is another day. I just hope it’s a better one at that.

The building I work in is not with out corporate headquarters. We’re a couple of miles away. It actually works to my benefit because I’m closer to home but it’s only a 10-15 minute difference if that.

We have off street parking at our location. Every employee is put on the parking list when they start and you move up as people transfer out. I’m in the top 5 right now so I should have a space within the next month or so. But do I want it? I don’t even know.

I catch the bus free because of school so there’s no transportation costs to me now. The bus stops at my street corner and across the street from my job so it’s not out of my way to catch the bus. Once I get my pass, I may drive sometimes. But it definitely will not be every day.

Today is horrible. I just feel awful both physically and emotionally. I’m tired as all get out. My class is really beating me down this semester. I studied like crazy for my homework assignment last week and I still barely pulled a C. I have to darn near ace the final to even pass the class. To add insult to injury, the half of the class that is passing, have low A’s and high B’s so there won’t really be a curve.

Also this being single crap is for the birds. One of my coworkers is showing off her new wedding bands. I don’t want to see that. Not today. Like I said, I’m just in a lousy mood so it seems like every little thing is magnified. At least Thursday is my last class.

I drank so much Pepsi trying to win prizes in that stupid game. I ended up winning 2 footballs and a Steelers hat. I wasn’t happy with the game however. I entered over 200 caps to win. I would say that half were given to me and the other half I actually drank. I hawked all of my coworkers for their caps.

The main reason I didn’t like the game was because it was one of those instant win type of games. Hypothetically you could enter once and win a great prize. I would prefer the save the caps and/or labels and send in for a prize. I’m sure the people who won were quite happy with the way the game was set up. I know one thing, NFL prizes or not, I’m not gonna play as much the next go round.

It’s been snowing for the past few days. It’s supposed to be freezing rain and sleet for the next few days. I know I’m almost done with school but I still have 1 solid year of this weather. I wish I was out looking at Wilmington NC real estate. Hell, any real estate at this point.

One year is not that long but when you don’t want to be where you are, it seems extra long.