Insane Random Ramblings

Half A Head…

A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy a half head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager, “Some idiots wants to buy a half head of lettuce.” As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, “And this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half.”

The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way. Later the manager said to the boy, “I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?”

“Oklahoma, sir.” the boy replied.

“Well, why did you leave Oklahoma?” the manager asked.

The boy said, “Sir, there’s nothing but harlots and football players down there.

“Really?” said the manager. “My wife is from Oklahoma.”

“Really?” replied the boy. “Who’d she play for?”

There is one class that I need for my major. It’s a requirement and I have to take it. It’s offered in the fall but it’s closed right now. I don’t want to wait until the Spring semester because it will be a writing course, ie. much harder, then. I’ve talked to my advisor and they have to leave so many seats open for freshmen.

I don’t know if I should try to get special permission for the class or wait until the Spring when I take my literature class. I’m not gonna stress over it too hard. I’m just glad that there finally seems to be light at the end of the school tunnel.

If I don’t get it soon, the radio will drive me crazy! For the past 2 days there has been a glitch with the local radio station and I haven’t been able to stream the music. Imagine sitting in a boring office listening to your coworkers chit-chatting. Yuck. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to listen to what my coworkers have to say.

I usually use the radio to drown them out. The past 2 days have been torture. At least I’ll be able to have my own music soon. I just hope it hurries up and gets here.

I don’t plan on doing much during my vacation. I probably won’t go anywhere and if I do it won’t be far. One of my local malls is adding all of these really expensive shops. Burberry, Louis Vuitton and Nordstrom’s are just a few of the stores that will be opening soon.

I hope they open soon. I can stroll around and window shop. I get tired of only looking at fitness equipment or kitchen appliances all the time. I won’t be able to buy anything at any of those stores but I can look.

Did I mention Tiffany’s is eventually opening in that mall? Now that’s a store I might actually buy something at. I’ve had my eye on a necklace from there for a couple of years. Who knows what I’ll do once the store actually opens up. I’m kinda excited for the opening day now.

I didn’t do anything this weekend in anticipation of my vacation in a couple of weeks. I’ve been staying home trying to save money. I haven’t really decided what I’m doing for vacation but I’m pretty sure I’m going to try and get away for at least a day or two. I have some casino comps for hotel rooms so I may do that. Just get away for a day or two and stay in a hotel and get pampered.

No matter where I go, I plan on making this a pretty cheap vacation. I’ll do some of the free or cheap tourist stuff. I’ll also stay in my hotel room and watch infomercials about the best acne treatments on tv. Maybe catch a couple of Law & Order episodes. Hopefully I’ll see a couple of baseball games although I doubt if I’ll be able to go to any.

Right now I’m not hopeful about having a fun vacation. I’ll just try to make the best of it. At least I won’t be at work.

I’ve been talking about needing new headphones for a few weeks. I have a Ipod Shuffle so you can only use Ipod headphones. I went to TigerDirect.com looking for headphones and I couldn’t find any. So I kept searching around the site and I decided to get a new MP3 player instead.

If you look at the picture, I don’t even know how to pronounce the brand name! It was only sale for $17.99. It’s regularly $29.99 so I got a great deal I think. Not only is it a MP3 player, it’s also a usb port. I can use it to store the rest of my short stories.

The only problem I thought I was going to have was that I wanted to pay cash for it. I didn’t want to use my regular bank account because the money for the headphones was in another bank. But TigerDirect offers the eBillme service. I thought it would be hard to use but it wasn’t. I purchased the headphones and used eBillme as the payment source. They finalized the purchase and told me to add them to my online payment account.

So I signed into my account and added eBillme as a payee. Then I payed them and that was that. Now my bank will send a check to them and once my payment is confirmed TigerDirect will send me my MP3 player. I only used that payment source because I wanted to leave the money in my account for tuition. I used my slush fund account and I don’t have a debit card for that account. EBillMe is a excellent payment option and I’ll definitely use it again if it’s offered.

I can’t wait to get my new toy.

I need to go shopping today. No doubt about it because I have no food. So my top five things I’ll buy from the store are:

1. Frozen dinners for lunch. I didn’t bring my lunch all week. I forgot how expensive that can be.
2. Oreos - I’m on a Oreo kick this week.
3. Eggs - I need eggs for my salad and for egg salad.
4. Bagged salad - I buy bagged salad which is good for 3 small meals. I usually eat 2 with dinner and bring one for lunch.
5. Lipton tea - instead of buying soda at the convenience store, I can bring them from home.

I hate food shopping so I probably won’t buy a lot today. I’ll probably break it up into 2 shopping trips over the weekend. As long as I get everything I want I don’t mind.

Soul Seeking At A Cemetery…

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day,two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. “One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me,” said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle.As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, “One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.”

He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along. “Come here quick,” said the boy, “you won’t believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls.”

The man said, “Beat it kid, can’t you see it’s hard for me to walk.” When the boy insisted though, the manhobbled slowly to the cemetery. Standing by the fence they heard, “One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.”

The old man whispered, “Boy, you’ve been tellin’ me the truth. Let’s see if we can see the Lord.”

Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.

At last they heard, “One for you, one for me. That’s all. Now let’s go get those nuts by the fence and we’ll be done.”

They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike.

Today is payday. Yay for that! That means that everyone will be shopping like crazy today and tomorrow. Stores in the area will be having sales and everyone will hand out promotional products to try to get you into their stores. I never shop on payday, I always wait until the beginning of the next week because you can find better deals.

I will however go out for lunch with my coworkers. I haven’t been food shopping at all this week and I don’t want what I have (a enchilada meal). I’ve never had that before and I don’t want to upset my stomach while I’m at work. I’m not sure where we’re going for lunch yet. I just hope it’s somewhere good.

Woohoo. Anything to do with food is exciting. I wrote a post back in April about IHOP coming to Pittsburgh. Finally. I just read in the paper that they are about to start building another IHOP in the area. It would actually be much closer to where I live. Instead of going to Robinson, it would be in Shadyside or Squirrel Hill. That’s practically around the corner from where I live now.

It would be so convenient to be able to get to IHOP within 15 minutes. I know I would be there way more often than I go now. Unfortunately they have to build it so it won’t be open until mid to late 2009. But for good food, I can definitely wait.