Insane Random Ramblings

The top five things I plan on eating this weekend:

1. Ribs. Mmmmm my favorite.
2. Grilled chicken
3. Pasta and/or potato salad
4. Hotdogs
5. Corn on the cob

Mmmm I’m getting hungry just thinking about it. I can’t wait! Have a great holiday weekend!

Catholic Shampoo…

Shopping in a local grocery store, two nuns happened to pass by the beer, wine, and liquor section.

One asked the other if she would like a beer.

The second nun answered that, indeed, it would be very nice to have a beer, but that she would feel uncomfortable about purchasing it.

The first nun replied that she would handle that without a problem. She picked up a six-pack and took it to the cashier.

The cashier had an obviously surprised look, so the nun said, ‘This is for washing our hair.’

Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter and put a package of pretzel sticks in the bag with the beer.

‘The curlers are on me.’

I usually don’t watch reality shows. I hate them in general because I believe a lot of the stuff is fake and scripted. But my new guilty pleasures are “I Love Money” and “I Wanna Work For Diddy” both on VH1.

This week on ILM they’re having a spitting contest. That’s extra super gross to me so I think I’ll watch the very beginning then skip the next 15 or so minutes and catch the rest of the show. I love watching all of the conniving and back-stabbing that goes on. I have 2 people that I’m especially rooting for to win so that will keep me watching.

As for Diddy, I could never work for him or be on his show. He’s such a perfectionist and a task master. He would drive me crazy. Or at the very least I would cuss him out and get kicked off of the show. I know that working for him could be life changing for the winner but it couldn’t be me. I don’t really have a favorite on this show yet. I do have 2 or 3 people I wish would get kicked off. And Laverne is not one.

I’ve finally come clean. I do watch reality shows. I now hang my head in shame.

What is he crazy? He’s had 3 opinions telling him to get surgery and take the season off. He now wants a 4th opinion. Then what?!?!?! A 5th or 6th. Have the surgery, sit it on down and get ready for next season. If he decides to try and play this year, he risks a career-ending injury.

Sit down Shawne!

It’s 1:15am and I already know that I’m not going to work today. As a matter of fact, I knew that I wasn’t going to work at 8pm yesterday. My birthday was really crappy and I plan on just relaxing and enjoying Monday. I plan on treating myself to lunch as well. But that’s about it. Even though I do need to do laundry and my hair. But the hair may have to wait until Wednesday. I have school Tuesday night.

But today is all about laziness and watching tv.

My top five reasons I’m glad it’s finally Friday:

1. I can finally sleep for longer than 4 hours. I feel like I need extra caffeine or something to act like a supercharger during the day because I’m so tired.
2. I can watch some good baseball games hopefully. I know the Phillies are playing on Sunday and Monday. I hope someone good is playing on Saturday as well.
3. I can get a jump start on my reading for school. I’ll head over to the bookstore and get my books tomorrow. Then I’ll read for a few hours to get ahead. I don’t want to have to study during the holiday weekend.
4. I can work on my budget. I have to see how much money I really have and what’s available for school.
5. I get to celebrate my birthday on Sunday! Needless to say, I’ll be doing everything else tomorrow. I may go out Sunday but I’m not sure yet.

Have a great weekend!

Rekindling The Romance…

After nearly 45 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband, begin to massage her in ways he hadn’t in quite some time.

It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down, stopping just over her stomach.

He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, working down her side, passing gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf.

Then, he proceeded up her thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent.

As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, ‘Honey, that was wonderful. Why did you stop?’

To which he responded:

“I found the remote.”

Most of my posts lately have been a little shorter than usual. And if you notice, I haven’t really talked about John much lately. They’re pretty much tied together if you didn’t guess. We haven’t broken up but we’re not really doing all that great either. We haven’t spoken to each other or seen each other in a couple of weeks. We also haven’t spent any quality time together in almost a month.

I don’t know what’s going on between us but it’s affecting almost everything else I do. I’m trying to sit that to the side and live life as normally as possible though. I can’t be moping around either. School starts next week and my goal, as always, is a grade of no less than a B in my class. That means no distractions.

I don’t know if this will affect my short stories though. I’ll still try to sit aside some time to write. It’s supposed to be cathartic. Whatever. I guess I’ll try it and see.

Hehehe. That’s what we affectionately call it at work. Every day at 11am I stretch, go to the ladies room and then leave the office. I either walk around the building or I just go to the little store downstairs. The whole thing is between 5-10 minutes depending on whether I stop to chit-chat or not.

I found out today that my boss does the same thing except she goes at 10:30. She knows the importance of getting away and clearing your head too.

I’ve started my short stories again. It’s really hard to get started again though. I have all of these ideas but they come faster than I can write or type them down. I’m especially frustrated because I lost a ton of work that I had already done. When my computer crashed, I lost 3 partially completed stories. 1 was 1/4 of the way done and the other 2 were coming along nicely.

You can best believe I’m saving everything on my flash drive this time.