An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano!

Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account
And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy
You hoped nobody found out!

Compress was something you did to garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
You’d be in jail for awhile!

Log on was adding wood to a fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened to your commode!

Cut - you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider’s home
And a virus was the flu!

I guess I’ll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody’s been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens they wish they were dead!

Since everyone will try to get their hair done for the holiday weekend, I may be able to squeeze in next week. But if it’s going to be in the 90 degree range for more than 2 days, I’m gonna hold off. Getting my hair done in the heat and humidity is like throwing money away.

Today is my first day back and I’m already tired. Hopefully this week will fly by and I’ll get to enjoy our upcoming 3 day weekend.

Anyway, I’ll probably spend a little time on the site this weekend seeing who’s who and what’s what. Who knows, maybe I’ll actually start posting myself.

As the drivers are equally stubborn, neither of them wants to reverse.

They angrily look one at the other.

Finally, one of them picks up a newspaper and starts reading.

The other one politely asks, “When you’ve finished the paper, will you please bring it over, and let me read it?”

The cool thing with ebillme is that a bunch of websites now use this service. I don’t have to use any credit cards or debit cards. I buy what I want and check out using ebillme. Then I get a bill by email which I pay from my online bank account and that’s it! Easy as can be. And if that’s not enough, they also have a rewards program where you can save 1% on future purchases. That money can really add up too.

Last year I used ebillme to buy a mp3 player from TigerDirect. I used the bill pay option at my bank to pay ebillme for the item. That’s it…not hard at all. The best part is I don’t have to use a credit card or give out my banking information. You simply set up ebillme as a payee at your bank and it’s done and over.

Now I have to get back to shopping because I think that jewelry store is calling my name.

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest beside her, “Father, may I ask a favor?” “Of course. What may I do for you?”

“Well, I bought an expensive! electronic hair dryer that is well over the Customs limits and I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?”

“I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.” “With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.”

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, “Father, do you have anything to declare?” “From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare. ” The official thought this answer strange, so asked, “And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?”

“I have a marvelous little instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.” Roaring with laughter, the official said, “Go ahead, Father - - Next!”